We have to admit it. After breaking up with someone you still love, facing your life without them on it is not an easy job. Even if they hurt you and the reason why you broke up is that because they don’t care about you anymore, a portion of you still look back and wish for them to do the same. You know that re-ploughing old fields is quite impossible, but you still have this little hope in you telling you that sooner or later, they’ll knock at your door again and give things a second chance. But since nothing is happening, that’s the point when you have to wake up from that fantasies of yours and face the bitter reality that you have to move on already. Moving on is easy, if and only if, your feelings for that someone is completely gone, but it’ll be hard if you still care. And guess what? You really still care. You still wait for your phone to vibrate because you still expect them to text you. And sometimes you re-read those past conversations of yours and you still feel their effect on you. You still check their Facebook page to find out what’s happening on them and when you see something there about their new love life, you get jealous. You still visit that favorite place of yours once in a while and remember those things you used to do together. You still care for them and you know you always will. You wanna move on to the next chapter of your life but there’s something about the previous chapter that you still want to read over and over again. Maybe because it is that chapter that you feel that you’re at your happiest. You were loved. You were cared. You were wanted. But those things were over and you already have to start walking and get ready on those things that will come your way. Your past relationships will always be a part of you. When you say move on, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ll forget everything. Move on is when you still remember those things, but you don’t get hurt anymore.
Wow, and I thought I was the only one…
same. well except I had a valentine kiss once, but it wasn’t cute or anything
|—||Irish proverb (via fuckinq)|
If I’m not what you wanted,
why do you still contact me?
Is it because you still care?
Or do you feel sorry for hurting me?
I still have a different tone for you on my phone so I know it’s you.
Never am I the one to call you.
It’s always you who makes the effort.
Why am I still part of your life?
Is this how it is with past lovers, or am I different?
There are so many questions and I wish I knew the answers.
You hurt me.
I shouldn’t allow you to invade my mind the way you do.
But I can’t help it.
I still love you.
And I’m so desperately trying to stop.